


Hard Words

by on_the_wing



Category: Starfighter (Comic)
Genre: Brief mention of past rape, Confessions, M/M, Relationship Discussions, Sex Talk, radio play style
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-07
Updated: 2017-08-07
Packaged: 2018-12-11 07:00:20
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,292
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11709255
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/on_the_wing/pseuds/on_the_wing
Summary: Abel has a confession to make. Cain has some thinking to do.





	Hard Words

**Author's Note:**

  * For [somerandom](https://archiveofourown.org/users/somerandom/gifts).



> “Speak what you think today in hard words and tomorrow speak what tomorrow thinks in hard words again, though it contradict every thing you said today.” ― Ralph Waldo Emerson
> 
> I got the idea for this story from something that elisetales said once; I immediately realized it was true, but I wouldn't have made the connection on my own.

“Cain, I have something to tell you.”  
  
“Yeah? Is it…sexy?”  
  
“Sort of. But not exactly. Will you promise not to get mad?”  
  
“I don’t get mad.”  
  
“Um, okay. Will you promise not to get even?”  
  
“Can’t promise that.”  
  
“Oh.”  
  
“Just spit it out, princess.”  
  
“Okay. I….IhadsexwithPhobos.”  
  
“You _what?_ ”  
  
“I…had sex with Phobos.”  
  
“Whaaa… _why?_ ”  
  
“Uh, it—seemed like a good idea at the time? I don’t know, it was one of those…things. You know.”  
  
“…actually, that’s kind of hot. Did you get video?”  
  
“ _Cain._ ”  
  
“Hmm, maybe M—”  
  
“Excuse me?”  
  
“Never mind. So you fucked Phobos. How was it?”  
  
“Um…pretty great actually. I was surprised.”  
  
“Tell me about it.”  
  
“ _Cain._ I’m not going to tell you the…details.”  
  
“Aww, come on. Who topped?”  
  
“Caaaaain.”  
  
“Or was it a girl-on-girl licky-licky-scissor-sisters kind of deal.”  
  
“Cain, this leads me to my next point…”  
  
“Were you in a hot tub—”  
  
“Which is that I talked to him about you—wait, where would we find a _hot tub_ on the Sleipnir—”  
  
“Oooh. Did you tell him all about what we do? Did it get him hot and bothered?”  
  
“Actually I did tell him about what we do. But it was afterwards, and he wasn’t very impressed.”  
  
“What?”  
  
“He said—”  
  
“What do you mean he wasn’t impressed? Did you tell it in a lame way or something?”  
  
“No—well I don’t know, I’m not a great storyteller. I wasn’t dramatic or poetic or anything. I just told him some of the things you do.”  
  
“Like what?”  
  
“Just some of the things you do that are different from the things he did.”  
  
“Tch. He’s a little bitch. Of course he’s going to say shit about what I do. But the real question is, why were _you_ saying shit about what I do? To _him?_ ”  
  
“Cain, I—”  
  
“I’m not mad. Look, sweetheart, I just want to know.”  
  
“Cain, I’m sorry. I don’t mean this in a bad way, but…he was just a little more…."

"Yeah?"

"...skillful…than you are.”  
  
“What.”  
  
“Cain, I don’t mean—”  
  
“THAT little bitch is—”  
  
“I have a great time with you! I haven’t been faking it or anything.”  
  
“You’re saying _Phobos_ is better at fucking than I am.”  
  
“….if you have to put it that way…..yes?”  
  
“The _fuck_ he is.”  
  
“I mean, you’re much hotter! You’ll always be a hundred times hotter.”  
  
“Fuck _yeah_ I will.”  
  
“I don’t want you to feel bad about this. I just want to discuss it so we can—”  
  
“But you’re always screaming about how much you like it.”  
  
“I am _not._ ”  
  
“Yes you are.”  
  
“Anyway. I know I do—act enthusiastic. And I am. I don’t want you to think I don’t like having sex with you. I do, I really do.”  
  
“You don’t like having sex with me?”  
  
“I just said I do!”  
  
“You just said you didn’t!”  
  
“No I didn’t.”  
  
“You just said, ‘I don’t like having sex with you.’”  
  
“I said I don’t want you to _think_ I don’t like having sex with you.”  
  
“Exactly! You don’t like having sex with me!”  
  
“Cain, CONTEXT. Remember negatives cancel each other out in English.”    
  
“Fuck, how are you supposed to count them in the moment like that?”  
  
“I…I don’t know. I’m sorry. Anyway, what I meant was I do like having sex with you. But when I…sound enthusiastic about it, sometimes it’s more because I’m enthusiastic about the _idea_ of having sex with you than because of what you’re actually _doing_ at that moment.”  
  
“…..”  
  
“Cain? Are you okay?”  
  
“….are you saying I’m _bad at fucking????!!!!_ ”  
  
“No! No, not at all.”  
  
“You just said you only liked the idea, not what I was actually doing. That sounds like I’m bad at fucking.”  
  
“Well—”  
  
“Shit. Shit.”  
  
“Cain, I didn’t mean—”  
  
“Shit. Why didn’t you say anything before?”  
  
“I didn’t know before.”  
  
“What the fuck do you mean you didn’t know before?”  
  
“I—well, I never had sex with anyone else before. I thought that was just what sex was like. And I, well, I—”  
  
“What?”  
  
“Phobos said you probably got your moves from watching porn. And I had only, uh, ever watched porn before having sex with you, so…I thought all that was normal too.”  
  
“All what?!”  
  
“Well, things like—like when you push my head down on the mattress while you’re—inside me. Or turning me onto my side when you’re not turned onto your side. They’re really uncomfortable for me, and I don’t see how they make it better for you either. It makes sense what Phobos said, because when I think about it, it almost seems like those things are more about…posing for a camera? Or at least a viewer.”  
  
“….”  
  
“Cain, please, don’t be upset.”  
  
“I’m not upset.”  
  
“I—I really care about you. I just—aaah. Cain, did you ever….were you a…”  
  
“Of _course_ I had sex before I met you.”  
  
“Cain, it’s fine if you hadn’t. I mean, _I_ hadn’t.”  
  
“I _have_ had sex before this. Blyat! Just mostly with girls.”  
  
“Mostly?”  
  
“I fucked a few guys in bathrooms and stuff, you know. You really never did that?”  
  
“No! I told you I didn’t trust anyone. If they’d recognized me, or anyone saw us, they could’ve sold the story to the press. Or to my father.”  
  
“Huh. But you trusted me.”  
  
“Yeah. I did.”  
  
“Why?”  
  
“I don’t know. Maybe because you didn’t give me a choice.”  
  
“Well that’s honest at least.”  
  
“I’m trying to be honest.”  
  
“….”  
  
“So…when you had sex with those guys, what was it like?”  
  
“I don’t know. Not like with you. We didn’t have a lot of time, or a bed or anything.”  
  
“Was it…fun?”  
  
“Yeah. Mostly. I mean, not like it is with you. Some times were better than others.”  
  
“Did those guys use the same…techniques that you use with me?”  
  
“I wasn’t letting them do it to _me!_ Well, not always.”  
  
“So you were usually topping?”  
  
“Yeah. Well. Sometimes. Look, it doesn’t matter who topped. Nobody was getting that fancy. We just gave each other hand jobs or sucked each other off or fucked against the wall. We didn’t do all those fancy positions like I do with you.”  
  
“So you only do the porn stuff…with me?”  
  
“I thought you would like it! You’re fancy, it seemed fancy, it takes more effort. I just wanted to, you know, show you that you’re worth it.”  
  
“Aww, Cain, that is so sweet! Ironic, but sweet.”  
  
“Ugh, don’t get all mushy on me.”  
  
“Looks like it’s someone _else_ that’s mushy…eek, stop that!”  
  
“Make me!”  
  
“I will! Hahaha. Eeeh! Argh! Okay that’s enough.”  
  
“So.”  
  
“Yes?”  
  
“I’m ready.”  
  
“For what?”  
  
“To learn the moves he used. Show them to me. Once I learn them I’ll do them better than he can.”  
  
“Oh Cain, it’s not about learning specific techniques. And you really don’t need to worry about Phobos. I don’t like him or anything, it was just a one-time thing, like your bathroom sex.”  
  
“Then what do you want me to do?”  
  
“I think you should just try things out, things that you think might feel good, and ask me how I feel about them. And let me do the same with you.”  
  
“Hmm. Will you actually tell me if you don’t like what I’m doing?”  
  
“Of course!”  
  
“You didn’t before.”  
  
“Oh. You’re right. Well, I _will_ tell you this time. Now that I know you want to know.”  
  
_“Abel!”_  
  
“Well, I wasn’t sure for a while.”  
  
“You sure are pulling out the honesty today.”  
  
“I’d like to pull something else out.”  
  
“Abel! That’s _my_ line.”  
  
“Not anymore, haha—eek! Mmmh.”  
  
“You want me to try some things out now?”  
  
“I think I can honestly say I’d like that.”


End file.
